Imperfectly

what if no one’s watching

if my life were a movie
there would be a sunset
and the camera would pan away
but the sky is just a little sister
tagging along behind the buildings
trying to imitate their grey
the little boys are breaking bottles
against the sidewalk
the big boys too
the girls are hanging out at the candy store
pumping quarters into the phone
because they don’t want to go home

i think what
what if no one's watching
what if when we’re dead
we are just dead
i mean what
what if god ain’t looking down
what if he’s looking up instead

if my life were a movie
i would light a cigarette
and the smoke would curl
around my face
everything i do would be interesting
i’d play the good guy
in every scene
but i always feel i have to
take a stand
and there’s always someone on hand
to hate me for standing there
i always feel i have to open my mouth
and every time i do
i offend someone somewhere

but what
what if no one’s watching
what if when we’re dead
we are just dead
what if there’s no time to lose
what if there’s things we gotta do
things that need to be said

you know i can’t apologize
for everything i know
i mean you don’t have to agree with me
but once you get me going
you better just let me go
we have to be able to criticize
what we love
to say what we have to say
‘cause if you’re not trying
to make something better
then as far as i’m concerned
you are just in the way

i mean what
what if no one’s watching
what if when we’re dead
we are just dead
i mean what
what if it’s just down here
what if god is just an idea
someone put in your head

fixing her hair

she’s looking in the mirror
she’s fixing her hair
and i touch my head
to feel what isn't there
she’s humming a melody
we learned in grade school
she’s so happy and i think
this is not cool
‘cause i know the guy
she’s been talking about
i have met him before
and i think what is this
beautiful woman settling for

she bends her breath
when she talks to him
i can see her features begin to blur
as she pours herself
into the mold he made for her
and for everything he does
she has a way to rationalize
she tells me he don’t mean
what he do
she tells me he called
to apologize

he says he loves her
he says he’s changing
and he can keep her warm
she sits there like america
suffering through slow reform
but she’ll never get back the time
and the years sneak by
one by one
she is still playing the martyr
and i am still praying
for a revolution

she still doesn’t have what she deserves
but she wakes up smiling everyday
she never really expected more
that’s just not the way
we are raised
and i say to her
you know, there’s plenty
of really great men out there
but she doesn’t hear me
she’s looking in the mirror
she’s fixing her hair

in or out

guess there’s something wrong with me
guess i don’t fit in
no one wants to touch it
no one knows where to begin
i’ve got more than one membership
to more than one club
and i owe my life
to the people that i love

he looks me up and down
like he knows what time it is
like he’s got my number
like he thinks it’s his
he says call me miss difranco
if there’s anything i can do
i say it’s mr. difranco to you

some days the line i walk
turns out to be straight
other days the line tends to deviate
i’ve got no criteria for sex or race
i just want to hear your voice
i just want to see your face

she looks me up and down
like she thinks that i’ll mature
like she’s got my number
like it belongs to her
she says call me ms. difranco
if there’s anything i can do
i say i’ve got spots
i’ve got stripes too

their eyes are all asking
are you in or are you out
and i think, oh man
what is this about
tonight you can’t put me
up on any shelf
because i came here alone
and i’m going to leave by myself

i just want to show you
the way that i feel
and when i get tired
you can take the wheel
to me what’s more important
is the person that i bring
not just getting to the same restaurant
and eating the same thing

every state line

i got pulled over in west texas
so they could look inside my car
he said are you an american citizen
i said yes sir, so far
they made sure i wasn’t smuggling
someone in from mexico
someone willing to settle for america
because there’s nowhere else to go
every state line
there’s a new set of laws
and every police man
comes equipped with extended claws
there’s a thousand shades of white
and a thousand shades of black
but the same rule always applies
smile pretty and watch your back

i broke down in louisiana
and had to thumb a ride
got in the first car that pulled over
you can’t be picky in the middle
of the night
he said baby do you like to fool around
baby do you like to be touched
i said maybe some other time
fuck you very much

CHORUS
[every state line
there’s a new set of laws
and every police man
comes equipped with extended claws
there’s a thousand shades of white
and a thousand shades of black
but the same rule always applies
smile pretty and watch your back]

i’m in the middle of alabama
and they stare at me
wherever i go
i don’t think they like my haircut
i don’t think they like my clothes
i can’t wait to get back to n.y.c.
where at least when i walk
down the street
no one ever hesitates to tell me
exactly what they think of me

CHORUS
[every state line
there’s a new set of laws
and every police man
comes equipped with extended claws
there’s a thousand shades of white
and a thousand shades of black
but the same rule always applies
smile pretty and watch your back]

a little town in pennsylvania
there was snow on the ground
i parked it in an empty lot
where there was no one else around
but i guess i was taking up
too much space
as i was trying to get some sleep
because an officer came by anyway
and told me i had to leave

CHORUS
[every state line
there’s a new set of laws
and every police man
comes equipped with extended claws
there’s a thousand shades of white
and a thousand shades of black
but the same rule always applies
smile pretty and watch your back]

circle of light

standing just outside
the circle of light
avoiding the pool cues
watching the game, waiting for you
hanging in the doorway like smoke
like mistletoe
this is where i’ll be
whenever you come or go

i’m gonna roll you over
gonna peel you back
expose your tender center
watch the juices flow from the cracks
gonna peel you out
of your protective shell
or i might just have to
break right in there
and raise some hell

i don’t have no grand plan
for you and me
just, nothing is impossible
nothing is unlikely
i’m just riding the tide nothing more
and it’s bound to take me out some
before it brings me back to shore

when you look in the mirror
do you see visions of your past
i ain’t got time for halfway
i ain’t got time for half assed
when i look in the mirror
i see the days to come
and my face is just a trace
of where i’m coming from

just outside the circle of light
is where you’ve been living
your whole life
you’ve got to jump back into the center
and launch your attack
then you’ve got to crawl back
in the corners of the room
where it’s really black
if it isn’t her

standing like john wayne
she is full frame
she is center stage
my imagination is
rattling in its cage
i didn’t really notice
when everything else disappeared
but as far as i’m concerned
if it isn’t her it isn’t here

she says do i know you
i say well, no, not biblically
but i have been waiting
for you to come and talk to me
talk to me
i have been playing
too many of them boy-girl games
she says honey you are safe here
this is a girl-girl thing

i told him i loved him
so he thought i’d roll over and play dead
he was god’s gift to hypocrisy
with weak knees and a big fat head
she said honey don’t tell me
that old story
you are boring me
just tell me do you like me
tell me what you gonna do
now that you’re free

good, bad, ugly

it was good
good to see you again
good to meet your girlfriend
i’ll try not to wonder where you are
when you go outside to kiss her
in the front seat of your car

it is good
good to be back home
how i missed this time zone
strangers are exciting
their mystery never ends
but there’s nothing like looking
at your own history
in the faces of your friends

it’s bad
to have eyes like neon signs
flashing open, open, open...
all the time

it’s bad
that i wrapped you in a fantasy
and that i carry you with me
but lately it seems like everybody
is joined at the hip
and i’m still fancy
oh, i’m so fancy
fancy free

sometimes the beauty is easy
sometimes you don’t have to try at all
sometimes you can hear the wind blow
in a handshake
sometimes there’s poetry written right
on a bathroom wall

and it’s bad
that i took that second look
i guess i’m an open book
you know i really didn’t intend
to embrace you that long
but then again i noticed
i wasn’t the only one hanging on
i’m no heroine

you think i wouldn’t have him
unless i could have him by the balls
you think i just dish it out
you don’t think i take it at all
you think i am stronger
you think i walk taller than the rest
you think i'm usually wearing the pants
just 'cause i rarely wear a dress
well...

when you look at me
you see my purpose you see my pride
you think i just saddle up my anger
and ride and ride and ride
you think i stand so firm
you think i sit so high on my trusty steed
let me tell you
i’m usually face down on the ground
when there’s a stampede

i’m no heroine
least not last time i checked
i’m too easy to roll over
i’m too easy to wreck
i just write about what i
should have done
i sing what i wish i could say
and i hope somewhere
some woman hears my music
and it helps her through her day

some guy designed
these shoes i use to walk around
some big man's business
turns a profit everytime
i lay my money down
some guy designed this room
i’m standing in
another one built it
with his own tools
who says i like right angles
these are not my laws
these are not my rules

i’m no heroine
i still answer to the other half
of the race
i don’t fool myself like i fooled you
i don’t have the power
we just don’t run this place

coming up

our father who art in a penthouse
sits in his 37th floor suite
and swivels to gaze down
at the city he made me in
he allows me to stand and
solicit graffiti until
he needs the land i stand on
i in my darkened threshold
am pawing through my pockets
the receipts, the bus schedules
the matchbook phone numbers
the urgent napkin poems
all of which laundering has rendered
pulpy and strange
loose change and a key
ask me
go ahead, ask me if i care
i got the answer here
i wrote it down somewhere
i just gotta find it
i just gotta find it

somebody and their spray paint
got too close
somebody came on too heavy
now look at me made ugly
by the drooling letters
i was better off alone
ain’t that the way it is
they don’t know the first thing
but you don’t know that
‘til they take the first swing
my fingers are red and swollen
from the cold
i’m getting bold in my old age
so go ahead, try the door
it doesn’t matter any more
i know the weak hearted
are strong willed
and we are being kept alive
until we’re killed
he’s up there the ice
is clinking in his glass
he sends me little pieces of paper
i don’t ask
i just empty my pockets and wait
it’s not fate
it’s just circumstance
i don’t fool myself with romance
i just live
phone number to phone number
dusting them against my thighs
in the warmth of my pockets
which whisper history incessantly
asking me
where were you
i lower my eyes
wishing i could cry more
and care less, yes it's true
i was trying to love someone again
i was caught caring, bearing weight
but i love this city, this state
this country is too large
and whoever’s in charge up there
had better take the elevator down
and put more than change
in our cup or else we
are coming
up

make them apologize

my breast is cradled
in the curve of my guitar
i’m breaking strings and other things
playing hard
no, i’m not on the rag
but i’m not on the run
i am matching the big boys
one for one
and i must admit i am
having myself some fun

because the music business
is still run by men
like every business and everything
but i can sing like a sonofabitch
make them twitch around their eyes
make them apologize

he had a mean streak
three miles wide
it was a long walk
to the other side
she tried to get through it
holding on to her smile
but he wasn’t worth the time it takes
to make that mistake
he just wasn’t worthwhile
she’s been under command
of the wrong man
now she’ll give you anything
except the upper hand
she was his mother, and his lover
and his wife
now she wants the luxury
of her own life

‘cause the marriage business
is still run by men
like every business and everything
but she can sing like a sonofabitch
make him twitch around his eyes
girl, make him apologize

they all want
to lead the fight
and they know what they know alright
but there’s so much
they just don’t understand
i mean what about the other sex
what about the other hand

they only know what they’ve been told
and they are well cast
but they don’t break the mold
and good sources are not enough
so she calls their bluff
yeah she calls their bluff

‘cause the revolution business
is still run by men
like every business and everything
but we can sing like a sonofabitch
make them twitch around their eyes
until they realize
they just don’t realize

the waiting song

your basic average super star
is singing about justice
and peace and love
i am glaring at the radio, swearing
saying that’s what i was afraid of
the system gives you just enough
to make you think that you see change
they will sing you right to sleep
and then they’ll screw you just the same

but i will wait, yes i'll wait
for the truth

they think i make a big deal
about nothing
but they still think i’m kinda cute
they joke about the status quo
to break the ice
once the ice is broken
i hope they all fall through
because this is no joke to me
they don’t fool me with their acts
of sensitivity
they too shall pass
just like everyone who’s only here
for my ass

and i can’t, oh i can’t wait
‘til they get their due

baby i've only got a minute
before i have to go
a minute is all my life will ever allow
let’s grow old and die together
let’s do it now
because you’ll do the jobs

no one else will do
and you’ll step aside and you will
let me come through
you have all my respect
i’ll leave it here when i go
maybe i never told you, baby
maybe you don’t know

but maybe if we wait, if we wait
things will improve
maybe we just wait
and things will improve
you know they’ve got to improve

your basic average super star
is singing about justice and peace and love
i am glaring at the radio, swearing
saying that’s what i was afraid of
the system gives you just enough
to make you think that you see change
they will sing you right to sleep
and then they’ll screw you just the same

he says i know you have to go
you have gone before
we are fighting on two different fronts
of the same war
but no matter what else i will do
i will wait for you

served faithfully

he caresses every bottle
like it’s the first one he’s had
saying it ain’t love but it ain’t bad
it’s the only reward bestowed upon me
and i have served faithfully

i can see he is scarred
from doing some hard time
but i let alone what is broken
because it isn’t mine
he strikes out at me
when i am within reach
and then he reaches for me
when i draw the line

sometimes it seems like love
is just a fancy word for compromise
you gotta read between the years
you gotta write between the lines
you gotta try and understand
the grandness of the man behind
the petty crimes
and let him off easy sometimes

i have only just met
an old old friend
we’ve been walking around holding hands
i hope some day he can bend
as far as it takes to understand
and risk breaking open again

imperfectly

i’m o.k. if you get me a good angle
you’re o.k. in the right sort of light
we don’t look like pages
from a magazine
but that’s alright

i crashed your pickup truck
then i had to drive it back home
i was crying i was so scared
of what you would do
of what you would say
but you just started laughing
so i just started laughing along
saying it looks like a little rough
but it runs o.k.

we get a little further from perfection
each year on the road
i think that’s called character
i think that’s just the way it goes
better to be dusty than polished
like some store window mannequin
touch me where i’m rusty
let me stain your hands

when you’re pretty as a picture
they pound down your door
but i’ve been offered love
in two dimensions before
and i know that it’s not all
that it’s made out to be
let’s show them all how it’s done
let’s do it all imperfectly